Make a Wish...

     When I was growing up, birthdays in my family were a Big Deal. We usually had a gathering of some sort, sometimes there were a few friends and family members and sometimes there were full fledged parties, but they were traditionally celebrated with cake, ice cream, and presents. We still gather on birthdays when possible and my mother still hangs the same colored foil “Happy Birthday” banner across the china cabinet like she has done for as long as I can remember. Another tradition in our family is that when we are able to get together, my mother still makes the birthday boy or girl the dessert of their choice. My oldest nephew and I always pick the same cake- the Chocolate Mystery Cake, a truly delectable dessert that resembles a big frosted Suzy Q. ( I gather the “mystery” is the sinfully delicious creamy filling, an artery-clogging concoction made from sugar, eggs, and Crisco.) And of course we light at least a few candles and sing “Happy Birthday” while the honoree sheepishly awaits for the moment they can blow out the candles and begin the eating part of the festivities.
     Recently I did a little research on how all of this birthday celebration business got started. Birthday celebrations and traditions have been intertwined since the days of the ancient Greeks and Romans and can be traced throughout European culture. The early version of the birthday cake first appeared on the scene in Germany in the 15^th century. The now ubiquitous “Happy Birthday Song” made its debut in English speaking countries in the 1900s. The ritual of blowing out candles while making a secret wish can be traced back to the Greeks as well. Candles were placed on cakes offered to Artemis, the Goddess of the Moon. The Greeks believed that the gods lived in the sky and that blowing out candles while making a wish allowed one’s supplications to reach them via the rising smoke. There is documentation that candles began appearing specifically on birthday cakes in 18^th century Germany, a tradition that has continued into modern times.
     When I think about the times I made a secret wish as a child while blowing out the candles on my Chocolate Mystery Cake, I honestly cannot remember many specific things that I wished for except for a horse and Barbie dolls. The gods heard my plea for Barbie, the horse, not so much. And I also can’t recall when I stopped making birthday wishes- probably early adolescence when most everything else traditional around me seemed lame. When I think about what I would truly wish for right now (besides a big slice of Chocolate Mystery Cake) I am struck with gratitude, because the things I truly wish for are the things that truly matter, and I already have them. I am blessed with a loving family, many loyal friends, and a job that allows me to be self -sufficient and co-workers that are like extended family. I have a beautiful daughter who is blossoming into womanhood right before my eyes. I am reminded that she was a wish of mine from childhood. I will never forget the day I bought the handmade doll in a gift shop in Smoky Mountain National Park with allowance money I had saved for weeks. I named her Elizabeth and distinctly remember telling the rest of the family that I was naming her that because I would have a daughter someday and name her that. I have the love of a partner whose sense of loyalty, honor, and duty surpasses that of any man I have ever met. Sure, there are other wishes and desires and rainbows I want to chase. We should all follow our dreams and wish on stars and birthday candles no matter how old we are. But let us never, ever lose sight of those wishes that have already come true.

Bless You!

Allergy season is here and hardly a day goes by when I don’t hear someone sneeze, followed by someone saying “bless you” or “God bless you” to the sneezer. I’ve noticed that it doesn’t really matter if the parties involved appear to know each other or not, it’s just considered good manners to say “bless you” after someone sneezes.  I can certainly understand why I’ve been taught to say “please” and “thank you,” but saying “bless you” after someone sneezes seems a bit peculiar to me.  When my daughter was little she would get extremely irritated if I didn’t immediately bestow the obligatory blessing upon her after a sneeze. “Mom, I just sneezed,” she would whine dramatically, as if she had severed a limb. How dare I be so careless as to not bless her? (Someone should have called child protective services.) Curiosity got the best of me the other day, as it often does, so I did a little research into how all of this “bless you” business got started.

Blessing sneezes has been documented as far back as AD 77 and explanations abound about its origins:

-According to legend, it was believed that your heart stops beating (it doesn’t) when you sneeze and the phrase “bless you” was said to encourage the heart to continue beating.

-People used to believe that your soul left your body when you sneezed and could be taken over by the Devil or evil spirits, so saying “God Bless You” was a way to prevent such entities from invading the body.

-On the other hand, there is an old belief that sneezes were a sign of answered prayers or good luck, and that saying “bless you” was just a way of acknowledging someone’s good fortune. (If that’s the case, I need to go get some lottery tickets asap.)

-Another explanation centers around the bubonic plague outbreak. Sneezing was thought to be an early symptom of the illness, so blessing the sneezer was done to ward off the disease.

These days we aren’t too concerned that sneezing can affect someone’s heart or soul.  We continue to say “bless you” because we’ve been taught that it is polite, but considering the true meaning of the phrase can make this common custom more meaningful to us.  One of the definitions of “bless” is “to give honor or glory to (a person or thing) as divine or holy.” So what we’re really doing here is acknowledging the presence of the Divinity in another person. Wouldn’t our world would be a much better place if we “blessed” with our actions as well as our words? So I apologize to my daughter and to everyone else whose sneezes did not receive the proper response. Bless you!

Sources: Dictionary of Superstitions, David Pickering, snopes.com